I am fortunate enough to be seeing a therapist as I have been dealing with trauma in my personal life. I am very lucky to be doing shadow work with him and learning how to balance myself too. Sometimes, affirming isn’t enough and it’s absolutely okay to get professional help. Recently, he said to me “The past does not exist. It only exists in your head. It’s done. Forgive yourself and be compassionate to yourself. Stop revisiting painful events in your mind because it affects how you move forward.” I went home and meditated on this because it really hit me. This is when I realised how forgiveness and manifesting are intertwined.
By having so much resentment towards certain people, I still viewed them as separate from me even though I knew everyone was me pushed out. It’s so easy to forget “everyone is you pushed out” in negative situations and to blame “others”. It’s a bitter pill to swallow when you need to take responsibility for your life. This is where radical forgiveness, radical responsibility, and shadow work comes into play.
Growing up you hear things like “you must forgive but you must not forget”. However, this was affecting my manifestation and my life because I just could not let certain things from my old story go. I was still attached to negative events that happened, things that were said to me, things that were done, etc. Even though I was affirming for my new story, I would look for evidence in the past (old story). I was “serving 2 masters” as Neville would say. By doing this, I was causing misery for nobody else but myself. I would find myself in a cycle where I would manifest the desired version of someone, be prepared for them to revert back to the old story, and have them revert back. This was happening because I could not fully commit to my new story. I still held parts of the old story within me. I still spoke about it to people and to myself. When it comes to manifesting, I learned that true forgiveness means letting go and FORGETTING the old story. It truly does not exist other than within you.
When I started my journey of forgiveness and shadow work, I beat myself up for creating all these unfavorable situations. However, I had to be compassionate towards myself because at the time, I did not know better and that’s okay. I used to judge the Law of Attraction gurus for saying how shadow work is important. No, it is not required to get your manifestation but I do think they were onto something because I am beginning to understand myself better and see circumstances for what they really are. A slight understanding and change in perspective of your life can help A LOT. The first step was to accept everything that has happened in my life until this point. I had to fully take responsibility for it and start forgiving myself. Next, I had to stop blaming people for things that had happened in my past. I needed to understand that they were perfectly responding to my self-concept at the time. Again, nothing to beat myself up about. There is no one to blame. I was being unfair to people and myself by not seeing them in their ideal version since we are one. Now that I know better, I can do better.
People will forever be reflecting and responding to my assumptions so I have to change myself. I have to be patient until my new assumptions start appearing in my screen of space. Let me be clear though, it is a process. I fell victim to the fallacy that within 2 weeks my subconscious will be impressed and I’d get my manifestation. I failed to realise that combating years of negative thoughts and assumptions required a little more time than 2 weeks and a little more effort than affirming 1 min a day. Getting coaching or therapy is one thing but actually doing the inner work is another thing. The manifestation journey can get uncomfortable at times but that’s where the growth happens. In those moments, be kind to yourself. Learn to forgive yourself.
